Welcome to our third session together, exploring poetry inspired by the objects in our homes.
Before we dive in, here’s a brief encouragement to write what you know – because you know things no one else in the world knows!
Three writing exercises follow. Please type your poems into the ‘comments’ section at the bottom of this page.
Session 3, writing exercise 1: Rainbow Poems
Write your own Rainbow poem
Do you relate certain colours to certain moods? In this exercise we’re going to use that way of crossing senses – known as synaesthesia – to create a poem that expresses how we’re feeling right now.
What feeling do you associate with red? Or blue? Or yellow?
For each colour, write a sentence or just a word to express how you are feeling right now, using the colours to guide you. Here’s mine, below:
This poem was inspired by Elsa Lewis – thanks, Elsa!
When you’re pleased with your rainbow poem, type it into the comments section at the bottom of this session. Can’t wait to read it!
Session 3, writing exercise 2: Pathya Vat Poetry
Pathya Vat poetry is a traditional Cambodian form.
It follows a clear structure:
-
4 lines for each verse (or ‘stanza’)
-
The 2nd and 3rd line must rhyme.
-
The 1st and 4th line do not rhyme.
It can be as many stanzas (verses) as you like.
Choose from the following themes to write your Pathya Vat:
Shoes
Bags
Coats
I’ve popped mine below as a guide. The messy scribble on the left in my first draft. Things never go right first time! If you’re frustrated by all your own scribbling, take heart, first drafts are for messy thinking and crossing out.
Session 3, writing exercise 3: Concrete Poetry
Concrete poems are poems written in the shape of a particular object.
We’re going to create one using the outline of stairs, to share some musings about journeys we have made.
Your journey can be physical or emotional.
To begin your thinking, you might like to make a mind map with the words ‘journeys I have been on’ in the centre.
Once you’ve got your mind map to a point where you feel ready to move on, use it as your reference point to create a Concrete poem of your own.
Then, use the outlines of stairs pictured here below to share your poem. There’s a choice of two – a sideways and a face-on view. You can hand-write it or type your poem.
And remember: poems take crafting. It won’t come out perfectly first time – the road to poetry is littered with scribbles and vast amounts of crossing out! Take pleasure in the crafting process. Good luck, we look forward to reading it!
Here’s how my stairs poem ended up – after lots of re-writing and scribbling out!
That’s all our writing exercises this week. We hope you enjoyed them. Perhaps you could create more poems this week and explore the three forms – Rainbow-mood poems, Vathya Pat poetry and Concrete poetry – further.
Hope to see you back for more poems next week.
With love from the Time and Place team, Jess, Keith and Liz xx
Here’s Tracey Shorthouse’s Rainbow poem. If you’re struggling to post pictures of poems this week, pop a note in the comments box below – I’ll contact you and we can post them this way. Thanks, Tracey!
Concrete Poem from Brigitta – written in the shape of going down and upstairs
Photo Credit for image at top of blog of writer writing – Kat Stokes on Unsplash
Hi Liz. Once again you have presented to us some fabulous ideas which I am looking forward to having a go at later this week. I love the way you are taking us through not only our place – our home, our time – now but also taking us through ourselves. I know others will be equally inspired and none of us are poets but we are all able to try new things together, and thanks for the rhymezone.com tip – I will certainly be using that!! Whilst I, like Jess cannot be physically with you we are certainly with… Read more »
Thanks Keith, your encouragement means so much. Although I’m alone on the vids, I do feel as if we three are indeed together in spirit – and hopefully our collective heart for this project is coming through.
Really looking forward to reading poems this week. If posting work in colour is tricky, writers could put the colour name in brackets at the beginning of the line, ie
(red) I’m feeling fiery
(blue) Blue skies lift my spirits
etc!
Hope that’s helpful! Much love, Liz Jx
Hi Liz,
I have written a rainbow poem on my computer. I can print if off and take a photo. How do I share a photo on here.
Brilliant! Thanks Tracey – if you would like to email it to me I will figure it out. That would be really helpful actually, because then I’ll know how to help other writers with the same issue!
Thanks so much Tracey, so glad you’ve written a rainbow poem xxx
At the bottom right of this comments box there is a very plain little oblong – pressing this SHOULD enable us to attach pictures…
However, it doesn’t seem to be working on my phone or my laptop!
Is anybody else able to make it work? Can’t work out if it’s just my phone/laptop (both of which are on their last legs!)
Dear Writers, to post poems this week, you can tap on the little ‘photo’ icon (just below the right hand corner of the box you type comments into), and take a picture of your work to post.
HOWEVER! I need to have the site adjusted to make this work – it will be ready from late Thursday hopefully!
If it doesn’t work for you, please try again on Friday… And thank you Andrew Buller in advance for enabling this!
Hi Liz, this is my Vathya Pat poem. Thank you for allowing me to reminisce about those shoes. I haven’t thought about them for years. I hope its okay. 🙂 That rhyme zone worked a treat. Silver Shoes I had the chance to go to a ball Long frock needed, which was blue Who knew that the choice of shoe would be so few? Traipsing round looking for the right pair Then by chance, I spied the right ones A bit pricier that what I usually would pay Looking at the heels, they might make me sway Silver in… Read more »
Love that, Tracey! A beautiful Pathya Vat!
Thank you Liz. 🙂 I was pleased I had the weekend off after that dance for my feet to recover!! Lol
Week 3 – Rainbow Poem of sorts
Red in the colour of my favourite trousers
Orange a tasty colour full of juicy tanginess
Yellow reminds me of waking in my sunny room
Green is the world outside my window
Blue is the cushion our dog rest her head on
Indigo the stormy clouds and colour of my jeans
Violet the taste of sweets from long ago Parma Violets
And pink because I love it!
Hope there’s not too many storm clouds up your way Frances, and I love pink too!!
Frances, this is lovely! A colourful glimpse into your day. Gosh, Parma Violets – I haven’t thought of those for so long!
Thanks Liz for putting up my rainbow poem xx
Thanks Tracey, sorry it took me a while to figure it out! We sort of got there in the end!! And it’s a great poem, thanks – I love the way you write, you take the reader with you so closely and express things with insight, honesty and courage. Thanks so much, Liz Jx
Hi Liz, this is my concrete poem. I did try to take a photo of it and put it on here but it didn’t work so I will try and write it instead. Life for me began at 23 I moved into my first flat, feeling the taste of independence from my family After working in a home with young people with learning disabilities for a few years, I wanted to go back to college. It was a deep need, something I had to do. My boss didn’t want me too. So ended up handing my notice in, with no… Read more »
They say every picture tells a story Tracey, whilst this is true, poetry can too and yours certainly does that here.X
Thanks, Tracey – I’m so sorry the photo wouldn’t work! But your poem still works visually. What a powerful ending – “Life began at 23 and again at 45…” Your poem really moved me and made me think. Thanks, Lx
I really love this Tracey, the idea that life can start and restart at any time – also loved learning about your life – it’s so cool that you pursued education throughout your life in different forms!
Here is Irene’s poem for this week: Pathya Vat Poem ( Coats) Always a rummage so many on the hooks, Some are for sun or the rain or the cold So many colours, some dark others bold Which one today is always my ponder. Different styles and sizes to match my ever changing life, Yet the weather and time they have all withstood, Some modestly sport a collar others boast a hood, But all perfectly fit for purpose. Each one bought for the handy pockets and flaps Storing keys, tissues, phone and the essential dog treats, Not forgetting the wet… Read more »
Thanks so much, Emily and Irene – I LOVE your poem! I’m so glad you chose coats, and exploring the pockets took me on a brilliant poetic journey with you. Great, great work – thank you so much, Liz Jx
Hi Liz, here are my poems for this weeks session, which I early forgot about.
Rainbow Poem
It makes me so angry to see the rubbish on the beach
I pick up some pieces of litter on my way
The sun is shinning and the crying of the gulls high in the sky
Ive done my good deed for the day
I head off home, with a smile on my face
A little spot of the beach is cleaned
The litter has disappeared without a trace
It will look nice if just for one day
This is a great moment of expression, Gail – I can picture this poem being displayed in public to encourage others to respect the beach! Thank you so much for writing this, Liz Jx
Thanks so much, Gail – I’m just about to read them and very excited!
Pathya Vat Poetry
Who can resist a pair of nice shoes
Sneakers, are so comfy
Some might say there dumpy
I just think there heaven
Stilletos, cripple my aching feet
Toes all squashed and painful
They are definitely not graceful
As I tiptoe through the room
I like something with a bit of sparkle
A diamante or maybe glitter
Definitely not that glass slipper
You would see my toes!
All in all I like the comfort
Its got to be my slippers
And not the ones with zippers!
Id look like grandmama
Gail Gregory
This is terrific! And your last line made me laugh out loud! Your poem reads as if you had great fun with the rhyming – how did you find the process of putting this poem together? I’ve so enjoyed reading it, thanks so much for sharing it, Gail, I love the way you write and always enjoy your work so much, Liz Jx
Concrete Poem Alzheimers A new journey Slipping down the stairs Uncontrollably slipping away Obstacles, frustration, anger, tears Hide away, questioning, feeling empty Why, what, how did this happen to me My life is changing, as I slide further down Another step down, bump, I need to hold the rail Need to stop my self sliding further down the stairs I grab the rail, hold on tight, I turn and pull with all my might You are strong, you can do it, you will find away, crawl, reach out One step at a time, as I slowly climb my way back… Read more »
Oh, Gail, this is a work of art – you’ve made me cry, and you’ve made me feel the determination with which you live; I am left feeling my eyes have been opened to the challenges you have faced, and then I feel great empathy because of your response to those challenges at first, and, finally, your words leave me feeling tremendous respect and admiration for your climb. I think this is a really, really important poem. I think you’ve composed something here that should be shared more widely – this is a poem that truly brings the reader into… Read more »
Thank you Liz, i am really enjoying the poetry sessions. I never knew there was so many different types. Thank you for your feedback 🙂
So, so pleased you’re enjoying them, Gail, I’m really enjoying reading them! Lx
Keith Oliver poems! Pathya Vat poem – SHOES Step into the shoes Stride out of the door Stroll through the downpour Skip through the puddles Step forward in time and place Stumble over the misplaced mat Shoo away the outstretched cat Saunter home to rest Concrete poem – Journey of Life The Journey of life may be easy, may be hard The steps I take along the way… Entering Into my world Stepping up the stairs Revealing an unknown aspect Keeping something private to myself Gateways and barriers, climbing higher Staring into the future whilst holding… Read more »
Love these, Keith! Your Pathya Vat has such a sense of playfulness – and I love the way you’ve begun each line with an ‘S’ lettered-verb – what a great and original approach! Your poem takes me on a walk with you! Your Concrete Poem is very intriguing – you have captured a sense of the secret self – and in doing so, you’ve made me think about my secret self. This other ‘me’ that only comes out when we retreat from the world. This is a really thoughtful piece of work, and it does that thing that poetry can… Read more »
.
My Rainbow poem: Red: Danger is what I felt, the talk about the virus Blue: when lockdown came it was calm, will be safe Yellow: The sun shone on family life and endless garden days Pink: talk of easing the safe lockdown, I felt panic stirring Orange: half in panic, half excited, I needed more information Green: here we go, out we go with social distancing Purple: a feeling of caution, will they obey and keep their distance. My Vathya poem My Green Bag I bought a bag a while ago it was bright and very green I knew to… Read more »
These are superb, Brigitta. Three poems with three very different emotional-feelings attached, and all three packing an emotional punch! Your rainbow poem really captures the emotional range of lockdown, from start to nervous lifting – I think many people will read that and feel you have summed up an experience very succinctly. Your green bag Pathya Vat is lovely – what a brilliant evening! You’ve captured the joy of that event brilliantly, building to the win all thanks to your gorgeous bag – really uplifting! Your concrete poem is so powerful, and I think it’s something that should be more… Read more »
My Concrete Poem
going up and down stairs
I have tried to attach a photo of how I wrote my poem, I clicked on the box/icon in the bottom right and took a photo and used it but do not know if it has worked correctly?
Thanks so much Brigitta – I’ve just received it as an email from Robert.
I’m SO sorry there’s been this problem with posting – something I hadn’t anticipated when planning the activity and a steep learning curve for me! But your poems are wonderful – I’ve commented below, Lx
Keith Oliver’s rainbow poem: – the colours the lines would have been written in are in brackets
They say Richard of York gave battle in vain
Sometimes I know how he felt
Reflecting upon what has been achieved (red)
Outside of our comfort zone (orange)
Yesterday seems like ages ago (yellow)
Granted, time doesn’t always fly (green)
Because when one is stuck (blue)
Inside, the sun’s warmth is diminished (indigo)
Violet streaks on a painted wall (violet)
Creating a prism of colour
At the end of which lurks the crock of gold
This is a really meaty poem, Keith! As I read it, I can really FEEL those colours. I like the way the poem is set out with the colours in brackets at the end, the colours written there seem to echo the mood of each line. Very effective!
I love the rhythm of those opening lines – and jumping out of history into the personal and immediate is a great idea for ‘time and place’! Thanks so much, Keith – and thanks also to Lucy for transcribing and posting here – great team work! Liz Jx
Pathya Vat – Green Shoes I bought them for a purpose To walk me far and wide But mainly, ‘cos they zip up at the side I am too lazy to fiddle with laces They’re a little bit like trainers But much smarter looking than that They’re slightly raised but pretty much they’re flat They’re comfortable and painless the whole day long I wear them with an outfit that’s mostly eau de nil To you and me that’s posh for light-ish green I think I look a million where ever I am seen But more than likely I look… Read more »
Concrete Poem – Staircase I’m looking down the staircase Each day it seems slightly shorter than the last As my dementia slowly descends a little worse each year I feel like chunks are being knocked away to hasten my descent But truly it’s been years now so I really shouldn’t complain about it It’s not all bad because I’ve found so many like-minded souls all living pretty well Through DEEP we’ve found a mutual purpose to life and it’s filling mine each day with hope Look at me, I’m trying my hand at poetry – I’d never have had a… Read more »
Here are a couple from Melvyn – together with a few thoughts – across 2 audio postings
https://soundcloud.com/dementia-diaries/a-few-poems-from-melvyn
https://soundcloud.com/dementia-diaries/another-poem-from-melvyn
Covid 19 poem from Melvyn Brooks
https://soundcloud.com/dementia-diaries/covid19-a-poem-from-melvyn
From Melvyn Brooks – two poems on the subject of pandemics
https://soundcloud.com/dementia-diaries/two-more-poems-from-melvyn
From Melvyn Brooks – a poem about memory
https://soundcloud.com/dementia-diaries/another-poem-from-melvyn-1